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Connection

Connection provides a sense of belonging and reduces feelings of loneliness and isolation. Sharing experiences, emotions, and even day-to-day stuff with others strengthens bonds and creates emotional support. Connections help us to navigate life’s challenges by providing comfort and perspective. Strong social ties can lead to lower stress levels, reduced risk of chronic diseases, and a longer lifespan.

On the flip side, prolonged loneliness can lead to mental health challenges such as depression, anxiety, and low self-esteem. The less people interact in real life, the harder it becomes to start conversations, form friendships, or maintain relationships.

The loss of connection

It’s barely been 15 years since hookup sites and apps transformed how gay men find each other, including those with niche interests or in less populated areas. For some guys reading this, it’s the only way they know. Yet, even in this ‘super connected’ world, feelings of isolation, loneliness, and disconnection can still grow.

This 24/7 app culture often comes at the expense of in-person meetings and interactions. In July 2017, UCL Urban Laboratories released a groundbreaking report—‘LGBTQ+ Nightlife Spaces in London’—which showed that, since 2006, the number of LGBT+ venues in London has fallen by 58%, from 125 to just 53.

It’s an alarming change, but this is not to say there are not green shoots elsewhere today. If we want a gay, queer, LGBT+ scene we have to build it, and use it, or external factors will build over it.

Building connections

The rise in loneliness isn’t just a personal issue—it’s a societal problem caused by changing social norms, new technology, and shifts in work and lifestyle. Building connections requires conscious effort, whether by prioritising real-life interactions, strengthening relationships, or fostering a sense of community wherever you are—or want to be—on the LGBT+ spectrum.

While many of us appreciate some alone time, the gentle rhythm of everyday small talk keeps you in practice, sharpens social skills, and boosts confidence.

Many people feel lonely but don’t reach out—sometimes a simple message or call can make a huge difference.

Make time for in-person meetups, calls, or video chats rather than just text messaging. Consider joining a hobby group, fitness class, volunteer work, or going along to a local activities to meet new people.

First steps

If you’re feeling stuck or don’t know where to start, we’ve put together a list of random-ish things to do (in no particular order). We hope they will nudge or inspire you to take the first step:

• Get into a regular morning routine
• Shower, clean clothes, and underwear every day
• Eat something for breakfast
• Do something physical, even if it's stretches
• Speak to someone else during the day
• Take a moment outside or explore your neighbourhood
• Do something each day that you enjoy
• Don’t leave stressful things to the evening
• Don’t forget to thank and compliment others
• Volunteer for a cause or charity
• Join a club, activity, or networking group
• Visit your local library (if you have one)
• Garden, even if it’s a window box
• Borrow a dog (with permission)