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Agree or disagree

While powerful web apps have brought us together in quite profound and positive ways, we believe that there are conversations to be had about their impact and influence. For example, while some of us berate the fact they reduce us to commodities we still use them every day.

We’ve pulled together some statements, so why not find a friend, settle down with your favourite beverage, and discuss...

  • You can’t determine chemistry online but it doesn't matter
  • Against a long history of rejection, persecution, discrimination and violence against LGBT+ people, web apps ‘take advantage’ of our need for acceptance, validation, and recognition
  • Learning to use web apps can help better understand what you're truly looking for off-line
  • Web apps like this are tracking devices which invade your privacy and expose you to unwanted attention
  • Web apps perpetuate an LGBT+ culture rooted in narrow, unrealistic images of beauty and attractiveness leaving little to no space to celebrate difference and diversity
  • The goal of web apps should be to take whatever it is you find (or whoever finds you) off-line
  • If stats, preferences, likes, and tick boxes are the tools we are given to find a man, it is how we will be seen by men
  • Web apps dull our characters, and the personal and interpersonal skills we eventually need to make, nurture and maintain meaningful friendships and relationships
  • Web apps should be part of a healthy online and off-line mix to meet guys, and make friends
  • 24/7 web apps throw up many more guys than you will ever meet so scrolling through the latest profiles and gorgeous bods is as soul-destroying as it is addictive
  • Web apps perpetuate a 24/ 7 hook-up culture of self-gratification from which we will eventually burn out, returning to a scene which will have disappeared through neglect

Or maybe we do realise it’s all superficial and just a bit of fun. That we’re better than this and web apps do nothing more than connect, empower, and liberate us. Guys do find what they are looking for online, including Mr Right or Mr Right Now. And whether it's love, a shag, a chemsex, or cuddles we're after, it turns up in many different forms and in the most unexpected places.

Our cautionary tale

So, our cautionary tale is more about:

  • managing expectations
  • understanding it’s in the real world where lasting relationships are forged
  • being clear about what it is you want and need (and knowing the difference). If not, web apps will leave you bitter, disappointed, and hurt.

How technology has changed the LGBT+ experience | Tech Nation | 25 Jun 2019

The Grindr Project | Documentary | 30 Apr 2013 | 34m 22s
What Gay Men Really Mean When They Say... | Davey Wavey 28 Jun 2012 | 1m 34s
Real Life Grindr! | Davey Wavey 12 Apr 2012 | 1m 2s
IQ Millenial Question | Simon Sinek | 30 Dec 2016 | 15m 25s (go to 2m 5s)

Helpline, advice and victim support | MEN R US

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