We wouldn’t be human if our relationships didn’t have difficulties and many of them are simply part and parcel of being together. The secret is to tackle them early before they fester and resentment builds up. However, some behaviour – by either of you – can indicate deeper and more serious problems. While the list is virtually endless, here are some typical examples:
- Bad moods, disagreements and rows
- Being argumentative or deliberately contradicting each other
- Monosyllabic conversations or the silent treatment
- Sniping and backstabbing when out with friends
- Being demanding and bossy
- Interrupting privacy and space
- Long work hours at the expense of the relationship
- Resistance to touch, cuddles and hugs
- Noticeably less sex, or hurried, emotionless sex
- Abuse of drugs and alcohol
- Refusal to return calls or respond to messages
- Failure to keep appointments and agreements, eg: regarding open relationships
- Moving out!
Being in love can skew your judgement, and while the shit has been hitting the fan on a regular basis we can be oblivious to the fact that something is wrong. In the end, if you don’t work it out for yourself nothing gets sorted out. We tend to be optimistic and reluctant to admit shortcomings, eager to rationalise or forgive inappropriate and destructive behaviour. Before long we can’t see the wood for the trees.
Even if we do recognise there is a problem, our ability to act can be hindered by a fear of losing him, being lonely (again) and throwing away everything we’ve built up together. One of the most difficult things to do is to get him into a frame of mind where he will tell you what’s wrong, so that you can work towards a solution together. If you’re the one being the arsehole then you’ve got to get through the anger and resentment before you can start making things better.
Thylacine | Alex Lampsos | 23 Feb 2014 | 10m 10s
A young couple nearing their nine months anniversary hit a road block when one decides to have lunch with an admirer. The relationship is tested as they face their insecurities along the way.