Whether you’re new to hooking up or you’ve been around the block a few times, these tips should help you remain safer and provide a springboard for thinking about how to get the most out of it.
Hooking up should be about connection, intimacy, affirmation, and fun. Most of the time, it is. But when things go wrong, it’s only afterwards that we tend to rethink our decisions and choices.
Hopefully, we learn from our experiences—and from each other because some hook-ups result in tragic consequences. If you use chems, you should know that there are up to three chems-related deaths a month in London and at least one chems-related ambulance callout every day of the year.
Be mindful that some tips assume you have the capacity (the ability) to give your consent freely. Also, be aware that drugs can affect your judgment, decision-making, ability to dose correctly, and ability to track time accurately.
- Maintaining your sexual health includes condoms, lube, PrEP, understanding U=U, regular sexual health check-ups,
and STI self-test kits. - Think carefully before agreeing to meet. If you feel uncomfortable at your destination, trust your instincts and leave.
- Let someone know where you’re going and/ or consider a tracker app. Keep your phone charged and keep the location GPS on.
- Have an exit plan. Keep your money, cards, and valuables in a safe place. Consider hiding cash in a bag, sock, shoe, or clothing.
- Sex should always be consensual. From both of you, not just one of you. And both can change your mind at any time.
- If you use drugs: know what and how much you’re taking. Pace yourself and take breaks.
- Be mindful that cruising at night while high can put you at extreme risk.
- Be aware that GHB and GBL can be used to spike drinks to incapacitate people. Open any unopened bottles or cans yourself and dose your own drinks.
- When calling for an ambulance (eg: if someone has overdosed), be aware that the police may attend and may arrive first.
- Know your rights when stopped, questioned searched, and/ or arrested by the police know and where to get legal help.
- Know where to get professional help and support should you need it. If in doubt, phone a helpline or ask a friend.
- Be careful with whom you share your Wi-Fi network. We strongly suggest a restricted network for guests, or they can use their own.
- Using any camera or filming equipment with the intention of recording or broadcasting someone having sex without their consent is against the law and carries heavy penalties.
- Only have guys you want in your home. Nobody should outstay their welcome. If someone asks to stay, think it through carefully—before you know, a night turns into a week… or longer.
- All hate crime matters. Report it to the police or through a third party.
- When hook-ups don’t go to plan, we often don’t talk about it. Chatting it through with a friend can help.
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- Keep your personal information personal
- Use the anonymity that some web apps provide
- Consider getting a second phone for cruising
- Are his photos recent?
- Are your pics OK if they were shared publicly?
- Think about what he’s after
- Consider speaking before you meet
- Meet in a public place
- Get safe transport to/ from your destination
- Trust your instincts, trust your gut
- Keep personal belongings safe
