Surviving Christmas

Welcome to our tips, tricks, support and helplines to surviving, coping or even managing Christmas. Times are changing but Christmas is still sold as togetherness, family harmony and cosy traditions but that picture doesn’t land the same way for everyone. If you lurve Christmas, and many do, then click away now.

Helplines and support (MENRUS.CO.UK)

Granted many of these helplines and organisatiolns may be closed or have operate reduced hours. This information is already on MENRUS.CO.UK 

Paddington and the Christmas Visitor | M&S | 7 Nov 2017 | 1m 35s
It does sound as if Santa says “Fuck you little bear” (1m 12s) but maybe it’s our over active imagination.

Our volunteer picks

A Christmas Miracle | Zalinki | 6 Jan 2019 | 1m

Downsides to Christmas

• It’s commercially bloated and starts earlier every year.
• Shops, transport and services become chaotic or shut down altogether.
• Social expectations spike: parties, gifting, hosting, whether you want them or not, and they be expensive.
• Family pressure ramps up, even when relationships are strained.
• Heteronormative or perfect family messaging floods the airwaves and every channel.
• Costs rise sharply: food, travel, heating, presents.
• Public drinking increases, along with rowdy behaviour.
• Routines collapse, which can throw off sleep, eating and mental focus.
• Community and support services run reduced hours just when people need them.
• The season drags on far longer than necessary, with little space to opt out.

For many LGBT+ people, the season comes with practical obstacles that have nothing to do with sentimentality: disrupted routines, reduced travel services, pressure to return to family that may not be supportive, and a cultural tsunami heteronormative messaging. Throw into the mix financial strain and patchy community provision, and the period can feel more like something to manage than enjoy. 

• Increased contact with unsupportive or estranged family due to seasonal expectations.
• Higher exposure to heteronormative messaging, traditions and advertising.
• Reduced access to regular support services as many shut or run skeleton staffing.
• Social pressure to “return home,” which can reignite past conflicts or rejection.
• Greater alcohol-fuelled family environments, which can escalate tension or prejudice.
• Isolation for those who are single, excluded, or have limited social networks.
• Financial strain caused by gifting, travel and hosting expectations.
• Housing insecurity or unstable living situations become more acute in winter.
• Limited LGBT+ nightlife or community events during the holiday period.
• Increased loneliness due to decreased routine, disrupted schedules and darker winter days.

Make yourself a plan

Being alone or opting out isn’t a failing, it just means you need a realistic, functional plan. Simple steps can make the seasonal period easier to navigate: structuring your days, staying connected to at least one or two steady people, keeping your space warm and comfortable, and avoiding situations that drain you. Small, actions can go a long way. The lists below lay out the key challenges and practical things you can do to stay grounded, supported and in control.

• Plan your days in advance so you’re not drifting; block out meals, walks, TV, chores.
• Pin one or two people you can check in with daily by message or call.
• Use community spaces that stay open.
• Set boundaries with family; decide in advance what topics you won’t engage with.
• Limit exposure to alcohol-heavy settings if they raise stress or trigger conflict
• Arrange at least one activity outside the home each day to break isolation.
• Prepare easy, comforting food in advance so you’re not relying on shops or delivery.
• Keep your place warm and lit; it stabilises mood and helps routine.
• Avoid doom-scrolling; curate your media to things that you enjoy and calm you.
• Create your own small ritual (a walk, film, playlist, candle, meditation, a relaxed wank) to anchor the day and signal care for yourself.

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