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The happy endings and porn scenario

For some, in recovery, a happy ending (wanking/ masturbating) while watching porn can be a powerful emotional and sensory trigger. As cravings grow, there may be temptation to seek chems or some of your old patterns of behaviour which can make a relapse more likely, if you’re not prepared.

However to be very clear: wanking itself isn’t ‘bad’ or wrong, in fact it’s awesome—but in recovery, being aware of your personal triggers around it can keep you safer and stronger.

Why it happens

  • Porn often recreates the sights, sounds, and fantasies associated with past chemsex experiences.
  • Your brain may start linking horniness with the old chemical highs, stirring up cravings.
  • Feeling horny activates body memories of using drugs during sex. Even if you’re sober, your body might react
    as if it's expecting chems.
  • Wanking and porn already release dopamine, the brain’s reward chemical. If your brain learned that dopamine + chems = intense pleasure, it can crave the full experience, not just the sexual release (shooting your load).
  • After wanking, especially alone, you can feel lonely, empty, or craving intimacy. This emotional dip can trigger a desire to reconnect through old patterns—often leading to contacting risky networks or thinking "just once won't hurt."

Ways to break the cycle

  • Pause before porn: Ask yourself if you’re feeling lonely, bored, stressed, or seeking connection.
  • Set limits: Time your porn viewing, or take porn breaks if it feels risky.
  • Use different types of porn: content not linked to past chem use, eg: soft porn rather than hardcore.
  • Self-soothe without porn: Practice mindful touch, or engage in physical activity that isn’t tied to past habits.
  • Reach out, if cravings spike.
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