For some, in recovery, a happy ending (wanking/ masturbating) while watching porn can be a powerful emotional and sensory trigger. As cravings grow, there may be temptation to seek chems or some of your old patterns of behaviour which can make a relapse more likely, if you’re not prepared.
However to be very clear: wanking itself isn’t ‘bad’ or wrong, in fact it’s awesome—but in recovery, being aware of your personal triggers around it can keep you safer and stronger.
Why it happens
- Porn often recreates the sights, sounds, and fantasies associated with past chemsex experiences.
- Your brain may start linking horniness with the old chemical highs, stirring up cravings.
- Feeling horny activates body memories of using drugs during sex. Even if you’re sober, your body might react
as if it’s expecting chems. - Wanking and porn already release dopamine, the brain’s reward chemical. If your brain learned that dopamine + chems = intense pleasure, it can crave the full experience, not just the sexual release (shooting your load).
- After wanking, especially alone, you can feel lonely, empty, or craving intimacy. This emotional dip can trigger a desire to reconnect through old patterns—often leading to contacting risky networks or thinking “just once won’t hurt.”
Ways to break the cycle
- Pause before porn: Ask yourself if you’re feeling lonely, bored, stressed, or seeking connection.
- Set limits: Time your porn viewing, or take porn breaks if it feels risky.
- Use different types of porn: content not linked to past chem use, eg: soft porn rather than hardcore.
- Self-soothe without porn: Practice mindful touch, or engage in physical activity that isn’t tied to past habits.
- Reach out, if cravings spike.
