In pulling this content together, one of our younger volunteers told us about his father, a retired teacher. As you can imagine, he met many people, young and old, who were shy, reserved or anxious. The top tip he passed on to his son about making friends, or at least getting a conversation going, was to find out what someone is passionate about and ask them about it. It could be sci-fi, pole dancing, abseiling, stamp collecting or drag.
It’s a great way to break the ice, and who knows where it might lead.
The gay thing
For some of us, sexuality, whether we disclose it to others or not, is not central to making friends, while others prefer to meet other LGBT+ people. If you’d rather not go to bars and clubs, or use apps, get involved in something social. Check out our Get Out and Active directory.
And if walking into a new group feels terrifying, that doesn’t mean you’re doing it wrong. It means you’re human. Start small, go once, leave if you need to, and try again when you can.
The focus
It can also be easier, and less stressful, to make friends by not approaching it head-on. Instead, find an activity you enjoy with like-minded people, where the focus is the activity rather than being in ‘I need a friend’ mode.
Friendships often grow sideways: you turn up, do the thing, see the same faces, have a chat, and eventually someone becomes more than ‘that bloke from choir / football / life drawing / whatever fresh hell you signed up for.’
We have lists
Because of course we have lists! Top tips for making friends on the internet are broadly similar, but we’ve pulled together several lists that caught our eye:
7 ways to meet guys* | LGBT Hero- Talk to strangers
- Work
- Play sport
- Volunteer
- Network
- Go to the gym
- Take risks
- Start by getting to know yourself
- Develop your physical and emotional resources
- Chase your passions, not people
- Be proactive and invite people into your life
- Go to a Meetup
- Try dating apps
- Take up sports
- Join a club
- Drink, party and rock ‘n’ roll
- Form a support group
- Or, just follow these bits of advice
- Find things to share
- Use your body language
- Get out there
- Starting conversations
- Give a compliment
Meeting apps / platforms
There are loads of apps and platforms encouraging us to meet people. We’ve highlighted Meetup and Eventbrite because their focus is meeting people in real life, in the real world, rather than keeping relationships and friendships online. Also, both usually have LGBT+ or LGBTQ+ events, groups or listings.
Meetup | Meetup“Getting together with real people in real life makes powerful things happen. Side hustles become careers, ideas become movements, and chance encounters become lifelong connections. Meetup brings people together to create thriving communities.” Meetup. Eventbrite | Eventbrite
“Eventbrite is the world’s largest event technology platform. We build the technology to allow anyone to create, share, find and attend new things to do that fuel their passions and enrich their lives. Music festivals, venues, marathons, conferences, hackathons, air guitar contests, political rallies, fundraisers, gaming competitions — you name it, we power it. Our mission? To bring the world together through live experiences.” Eventbrite. Proudout | Proudout (has pop-up ads)
Proudout says it’s ‘one of LGBTQ+’s leading global directories, providing visitors with information about events, travel deals, service providers and products.’
Our lists are short, so clearly not exhaustive. Please let us know if there are any we should add.
