Using condoms

 We just couldn’t give it to you straight, so here’s our take on using condoms.

1. If you’re going to fuck, make sure you have condoms and lube to hand and remove all pets and ex-boyfriends from the area!
2. Check the use-by date first, then take the rubber out of its wrapper, avoiding sharp/jagged fingernails, teeth and cheap jewellery.
3. With a thumb and forefinger pinch the end of the condom as this will get rid of the air and make room for the cum.
4. Make sure it’s not upside down or you won’t be going anywhere! If you’ve tried putting it on the wrong way round, bin it and use a new one.
5. Roll it all the way down your dick. Your dick needs to be hard to roll it on, but it may go soft at this point. Simply work up some steam and – using a new condom, try again later.
6. Place some lube on a finger or two and gently work it up his arsehole. He’ll get more pleasure if he’s relaxed and the condom is less likely to tear.
7. Smother your dick with lube and ask him if he’s ready before putting it up his arse. Use water-based or silicone-based lube with latex condoms. Oil-based lube can damage them.
8. Enter slowly, checking he’s OK. If you go in quickly you could hurt him. Once inside, off you go… checking occasionally to see that the condom is still in place and intact.
9. When you’ve finished, hold the condom at the base of your dick before pulling out. You don’t want to lose it up his arse, do you?

• New fuck, new condom. Use a fresh one each time you fuck, including when changing partners.
• If a condom breaks or slips off, stop and put on a new one. If you think you may have been exposed to HIV, get advice about PEP as soon as possible and within 72 hours. A sexual health clinic can also advise about STI testing.
• Condoms do make a difference: You can’t feel as much and they can be awkward to use, BUT using them with lube every time you get fucked or fuck greatly reduces the risk of HIV infection and other STIs.
• Condoms help protect against other sexually transmitted infections, including gonorrhoea, syphilis, herpes, hepatitis B and NSU. Protection varies, though: infections such as herpes and syphilis can also be passed on through skin-to-skin contact outside the area covered by a condom.
• Wanking with condoms can also improve your technique and get you used to the idea/feel of using them.
• Don’t leave used condoms lying around for children to find. Knot it, wrap it in a tissue or loo roll and bin it. (Not down the toilet, it may well bob back up).
• Take a break… put on the kettle… leave… start again… or fall asleep in his arms.

Condoms: 9 common mistakes

1. Not checking the condom packet for damage: Condoms can easily get damaged, especially if they’ve been kept in a wallet, pocket, or bag. Condoms that are damaged won’t protect you effectively against STIs.
2. Not checking the expiry date: Condoms that are out of date may not protect you effectively against STIs. Check the date and use a new one.
3. Putting the condom on after sex has started: You need to wear a condom before you start having sex in order for it to do its job. If you leave it to the last minute and only put a condom on just before you come (ejaculate) you’re NOT protected from STIs. If you do this, fluids are likely to have already been exchanged.
4. Not holding the tip when applying the condom: When you put a condom on, it’s important to squeeze the tip, to get rid of any air. If you don’t, the condom is likely to break.
5. Putting the condom on the wrong way up, then turning it over: Putting the condom on the wrong way round (so it won’t roll down) is a common mistake, especially if it’s dark! But if you do this, it’s really important that you bin that condom and start again with a new one. Don’t be tempted to just turn it over because the outside of the condom will have touched the penis and so leaves your partner exposed to the risk of STIs. Get another condom out and start again.
6. Taking the condom off before sex is over: Whenever your genital or anal areas are in contact, you should use a condom, to prevent the risk of STI. This includes after you’ve come (ejaculated).
7. Storing condoms in a wallet or bag where they may be damaged: Heat, friction and damage to the wrapper can make condoms less reliable. Keep them somewhere cool and dry, check the packaging and replace any that may have been damaged.
8. Not holding the base of the condom when withdrawing the penis: This can cause the condom to come off, which means you’re at risk of STIs.
9. Using oil-based lubricants with condoms (such as Vaseline or moisturiser): Use water-based or silicone-based lube with latex condoms. Oil-based products, including Vaseline and some moisturisers, can damage latex and make condoms more likely to break.

Adapted from Condoms: 9 common mistakes (we removed the references to pregnancy) | Brook