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Sex and doing it

Hugs and cuddles

hugsHugs and cuddles before and after sex can be important in setting the mood, relaxing and becoming familiar in each other's company, and enjoying the moment afterwards... although some guys do prefer to 'cum and go', particularly if it's a hook-up. There's nothing necessarily 'wrong' with this, but if you are looking for something more and he's closing the door behind himself then you may be left disappointed.

Much of this section is duplicated under MEN where the context for hugs and cuddles is something best enjoyed and appreciated, without ulterior motives or hidden agendas, between mates and friends. Hugs (especially big hugs) and cuddles are two of the most natural ways to express our friendship, and show closeness and affection. Cuddling, particularly, can also lower blood pressure and heart rate, reduce fear and anxiety, and reduce stress. What's not to like!

More about non-sexual hugs and cuddles here: Hugs and cuddles under MEN.

Be mindful that cuddling can be or interpreted as an exploratory step between 'friends', or a prelude to sex (though cuddling can be a big turn off if sex is always the end game). We can also get carried away, particularly if we misread signals.

Sometimes we just like to be held by another guy, or to hold a guy. It's an instant mood boost, can dispense with words, and help us feel better about each other and ourselves. After sex, cuddles should not be underestimated though be aware that some guys - while happy to have sex - find this sort of 'quiet' intimacy very difficult, even stressful, seeing it as vulnerability or weakness. This is one reason why guys can 'cum and go'.

So, make your intentions clear such as a touch on the arm rather than a hand on his crotch, or a gentle rub on his shoulder rather than finger tips snaking down to his arse crack. If you're all loved up with a new guy in your life, lots of cuddles add an important dimension to your relationship, helping develop feelings of intimacy, confidence and trust.

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