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Sex and doing it

Kissing

For many of us, kissing another man is a powerful expression of our sexuality and identity. A kiss can signal a beginning or an end, a need or a desire. It can persuade, reassure, tantalise or hurl us into a pit of uncertainty as we wait impatiently for the little bugger to call.

While our kissing technique is as individual as we are, most of us learn directly from others. We can kiss someone virtually anywhere, although the mouth is the most common place and the most complex to interpret. For example, does a gentle kiss on the lips say ‘I want to... but I’m shy’ or ‘this is as far as I want to go’ or does an aggressive kiss mean ‘I’m so fucking horny’ or ‘I’m taking control.’

While different types of kissing usually indicate levels of intimacy, a gentle kiss at the right moment can be as effective as an aggressive open-mouthed kiss with tongues and tonsils. We’re invariably communicating what we feel at that moment, as well as what we want next.

Kissing is accompanied by other signals, and as we grow more experienced we learn (most of the time) to understand what one kiss means in relation to another and what our intentions are when we kiss someone else. Like a longitude and latitude, that first kiss – whether you are in a back room, the bedroom or on a first date – provides a direction in which you can both go, at least in the first instance. Lips and tongues are extremely sensitive so, when you kiss, remember to receive, absorb and enjoy his attention.

A long, mutual, deep kiss can often develop a satisfying rhythm of its own and if you feel you are inexperienced or could improve your technique, follow someone else’s lead. However, there are men who don’t like to kiss. It might betray an existing relationship or face them with the reality that they might be gay. Alternatively, they could have appalling bad breath and are just being considerate. You may never know.

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