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Sexual positions

Top and bottom, active and passive, pitcher and catcher

SEX | MENRUS.CO.UK'Top and bottom', 'active and passive' or 'pitcher and catcher' (US) describe a guy's preference to fuck (penetrate) or be fucked (be penetrated) during anal sex. Some guys are versatile, meaning they enjoy both fucking and being fucked. Importantly though, some dislike these labels and prefer to go with the flow.

What you prefer is usually determined by the pleasure you have learnt through experiment and practice. We suggest you keep an open mind and go into sex without a pre-determined idea of what should happen, and then you will likely fall into your natural preference... which may also change over time.

Some men think that to be a top, you have to be masculine and manly, while others think a bottom has to be passive or effeminate. This is bollocks. There are so-called masculine-looking guys that roll over as soon as you wave your dick in their direction and passive-looking guys that will fuck you into the floor. Fantastic! Just be the man you want to be, with the man you want to be with, ensuring the sex you have is safer, sane and consensual.

Sides, bottom shaming, and BDSM

Side | MEN R U S
A ‘side’ describes someone who doesn’t practice anal sex, a term coined for gay men to have the language to express this preference.
Bottom shaming | MEN R US
Bottom shaming is the negative, belittling and disapproving comments gay men make about men who are the passive or receiving partner during penetrative sex (getting fucked).
In BDSM, however, top and bottom roles are usually more defined.


This boy is a bottom | LGBT Hero
Top, bottom and versatile | Wikipedia

Gay men and bottom shaming | Matthew J Dempsey | 14 May 2015 3m 48s
Am I a top or bottom? | Davey Wavey | 25 Jan 2015 2m 59s
Every gay guy needs to bottom | Davey Wavey | 31 Mar 2011 2m 28s

What Does It Mean to Be a Top, Bottom, or Vers? | Them | 13 Apr 2023
 10 Gay & Queer Celebs Who've Talked About Being Tops, Bottoms, or Vers | Out | 3 Jan 2023
Rise of the sides: how Grindr finally recognized gay men who aren’t tops or bottoms | The Guardian | 20 Jun 2022
 Harsh reality of being a ‘side’ in a top or bottom world: ‘I felt nothing except pain in the arse’ | Pink News | 18 Feb 2022
The long, deep, surprisingly versatile history of bottoms: From Ancient Greece to modern misogyny | Pink News | 8 Feb 2022
A Brief History of Bottoming | Vice | 16 Mar 2020
 It's Time to Stop Pigeonholing Gay Men as Tops and Bottoms | GQ | 23 May 2019
Everything you wanted to know about tops and bottoms | HuffPost | 6 Jun 2019
Looking beyond gay tops and bottoms | HuffPost Gay Voices | 16 Jun 2013

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