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Sexual positions

Top and bottom, active and passive, pitcher and catcher

'Top and bottom', 'active and passive' or 'pitcher and catcher' (US) describe a guy's preference to fuck (penetrate) or be fucked (be penetrated) during anal sex. Some guys are versatile, meaning they enjoy both fucking and being fucked. Importantly though, some dislike these labels and prefer to go with the flow.

What you prefer is usually determined by the pleasure you have learnt through experiment and practice. We suggest you keep an open mind and go into sex without a pre-determined idea of what should happen, and then you will likely fall into your natural preference... which may also change over time.

Some men think that to be a top, you have to be masculine and manly, while others think a bottom has to be passive or effeminate. This is bollocks. There are so-called masculine-looking guys that roll over as soon as you wave your dick in their direction and passive-looking guys that will fuck you into the floor. Fantastic! Just be the man you want to be, with the man you want to be with, ensuring the sex you have is safer, sane and consensual.

Are tops in London an endangered species?

There is definitely a vibe in London that there are far too many bottoms and tops are endangered species. Of course there's no way we can validate this. But yes, we went down the rabbit hole, though the findings didn't really shed much light on the issue.

Every year, Grindr crunches anonymous aggregated data from its global user base (so a pinch of salt there) but according to Grindr Unwrapped 2024. The highest percentage of:

Tops were found in Jordan, Greece, USA, Singapore, and Peru
Bottoms were found in South Africa, South Korea, Japan, Vietnam, and Denmark
Vers were found in Finland, Austria, Germany, Australia, and Hungary
Sides were found in Singapore, Philippines, Japan, New Zealand, and Australia

We asked AI which sat on the fence: "There’s no single, definitive statistic because sexual roles among gay men are fluid and can vary by context, culture, and individual experience. However, some research suggests that approximately 30–40% of gay men tend to identify predominantly as “tops” (active), about 30–40% as “bottoms” (passive), with the remaining percentage identifying as versatile or shifting between roles. It’s important to note that these figures are approximate and can differ significantly depending on the study and the population sampled."

We also explored reddit and Quora but, frankly, lost the will to live.

Conclusion: Do something more productive with our time.

Sides, bottom shaming, and BDSM

Side | MEN R U S
A ‘side’ describes someone who doesn’t practice anal sex, a term coined for gay men to have the language to express this preference.
Bottom shaming | MEN R US
Bottom shaming is the negative, belittling and disapproving comments gay men make about men who are the passive or receiving partner during penetrative sex (getting fucked).
BDSM | MEN R US
In BDSM, however, top and bottom roles are usually more defined.

More

This boy is a bottom | LGBT Hero
Top, bottom and versatile | Wikipedia

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