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Sex and consent

Marco, Eli and Nigel

To illustrate some sex and consent issues we have created some scenarios, a springboard for further thought and conversation.


Marco Marco does not touch, rub up or grab men in any way (or expects this from other men) before verbal consent has been given explicitly.

  • Marco’s not had sex for weeks and he’s very horny. He's had a few drinks and looking to hook up. A guy he's cruised before walks past and touches is arse . How might Marco respond?
  • Marco has had sex with Alan several times over several months. The sex is good and it’s what they both want. One morning Alan gets hard and moves to fuck Marco who is half asleep. How consential is this?


ELiEli has a ‘sliding scale’ on what he thinks is acceptable behaviour when cruising and meeting men.

  • Eli is dancing with friends when a guy joins them. Eli likes him. Leaning in to ask Eli if he would like a drink, the guy runs a hand down Eli’s back. How might they both think and feel?
  • Later, Eli goes to a sauna and is being cruised by a guy. Eli grabs the guy's crotch, leading him into a corner for sex. The guy pulls away and leaves. How might they both think and feel?


NigelGrateful for all the attention he can get, Nigel has a laissez-faire (free-and-easy) approach to touching or grabbing other men, anytime, anywhere.

  • A guy locks Nigel's arms back as they have sex in a night club toilet. It’s a turn on. Later on, the same guy grabs Nigel’s bruised arm wanting more. Nigel winces. What might Nigel think and feel?
  • After taking too many drugs, Nigel wakes up naked on a sofa to find he's got a very sore anus but doesn't remember what happened. Has Nigel ‘got what he deserves’?
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