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Value most, like least

There are a ton of lists on the Internet about what friends should and shouldn't be, so we're not certain what we can offer. However, some MEN R US spunky monkeys got together over several bottles to decide what they value most and like least about friends.

It turned to be a very long night when some of the guys started going through their Facebook friends with a meat cleaver. Tears were shed, texts were sent... but contrite and bleary-eyed, the next morning gave everyone the perfect excuse for an alcohol-free brunch and time to write this up:

 What we value most

  • A friend who loves and supports us unconditionally
  • A friend who can 'just be there' and is around when we're down
  • A friend who can be our life coach, mentor, and all round oracle
  • A friend who will help us grow personally, and share in life's lessons
  • A friend who is honest but who can be brutally honest
  • A friend who challenges us and keeps us grounded (eg: when we're being a knob)
  • A friend who has fresh perspectives, judgement and integrity
  • A friend who is loyal, and who can keep a secret

What we like least

  • A friend who nit-picks and finds fault and/ or whose bottle is always half empty
  • A friend who is boringly competitive
  • A friend who has to be centre of attention
  • A friend who is self-absorbed and/ or self-centred
  • A friend who cancels plans or breaks promises
  • A friend who is manipulative and/ or controlling
  • A friend who is not self-aware and/ or cannot share
  • A friend who morphs into his friends rather than be his own man
  • A friend who stabs you in the back or chooses personal gain over friendship

Very poorly structured friends test

Only you can decide how close you are to your friends, and how close they are to you, but here are a few pointers:

  • After spending time with them, do you feel better?
  • Are you yourself when you are with them?
  • Do you feel like you have to watch what you say and do?
  • Can you have friends over without cleaning the flat from top to bottom?
  • Would your friends drop everything if you had an emergency (including leaving work/ their bed)?
  • Do you have friends who know they can just drop by?
  • Do you feel the need to put your wallet away or hide valuables?
  • Do friends offer to help you move before you ask?
  • Would your friends watch out for you when you are wasted?
  • Do you put a friend up for the night without a moment's hesitation?
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