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I know I am different

From the day boys are born, society still assumes (though this is changing) they will be heterosexual, have children with a girlfriend or wife, and follow gender orientated work and career paths.

For the first 10 years or so of our lives most of us are encouraged to be heterosexual or straight whether it's the clothes we are given to wear, the toys we are given to play with, the TV we are allowed to watch, or the male role model our father represents.

Even though much has changed in recent decades, this is underpinned by the ideal of traditional family life, still the backbone of many societies, reinforced by heterosexual stereotyping on TV and in the media.

Assuming and reinforcing a person's sexual orientation is confusing and stressful, especially as we hit puberty when hormones rage and emotions surge.

Doubt and uncertainty 

We don’t choose your sexuality and the journey to understanding and accepting this can be as quick as it can be slow. We may have been attracted to guys for many years before making a more meaningful connection or have only recently begun to question our sexuality as a result of a crush on a friend or a glance on the street that we can’t get out of our mind.

Doubt, uncertainty and questioning is not only usual and common, it's also healthy. This doesn’t mean that everyone who questions their sexuality in this way is actually gay; some men explore same-sex relationships (or the idea of them) and then decide that they are in fact straight. Some people realise that they prefer people of the opposite sex, while others feel that they prefer people of the same sex. Some people realise that they're gay later in life, and some know it from an early age.

Two stories for you ...

There are many coming out videos online today but these thoughtful stories from Tom and Kima are both powerful and moving.

It gets better: Tom from Liverpool | UK | tomtom1854 | 4 May 2011 | 12m 53s
Coming out story | Kima Ali | US | 2 Feb 2017 | 15m 36s