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Coming out to yourself

Acknowledging that you are gay can take days, weeks, months, years or, in some cases, never. Some of us probably hoped these feelings were ‘just a phase’. In time, we realise that these feelings are not going to go away and we have to find a way of accepting them and dealing with the fact that we are sexually attracted to members of our own sex. This realisation is the first stage of coming out.

There is no hard and fast rule when this point is reached. It’s your life so take your time – do things for yourself and only when you are ready. There are several stages in the process of coming out. The fact that you are reading these words may be a starting point so we encourage you to read, browse and click away.

For some, coming out happens in their teens, for others it may be later in life. Some people describe this time of accepting their sexuality as like riding an emotional roller-coaster. One day they feel happy and confident and ready to tell everyone; the next they feel confused, scared and relieved that they didn't. You may want to talk to someone who understands what this is like. It’s a nerve-racking time – the fear of rejection can feel immense.